Managing By Hug or by Handshake

Do you shake hands with your mom or do you hug her? What about your siblings? How about your spouse? Your kids? How about your close friends? What about your employees?

I suppose we were on a roll with hugs until the employees question huh?

So what is the differentiating factor between offering a hug and a handshake? Perhaps it is this simple: a hug is reserved for people we care about and have feelings for. Everything else would be a handshake.

Managers, do you not care about your employees? I mean, is your corporate culture one of faceless people doing a job or is your culture one of only hiring people who matter to do work that matters? That's the difference between a handshake and a hug.

If you treat your employees as "handshake" people, you will attract people who view their work as "just a job." But if you really value your people, are grateful for their performance and diligence and care about them as people, you will attract people who value their work, are grateful that you chose them and will reward you with performance and diligence. They will take ownership of their work.

People who feel valued and cared for outperform all others by 20%.

A Culture of Greatness is created by managers who know the difference between a hug and a handshake. You don't actually have to hug them - just make them feel like you care enough about them.

If your managers can't do that, then get new managers. The world is changing and your attitude is out of touch with reality. You had better get with the program or you'll end up attracting the employees that no one else wants - you know, the "handshake" people.
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When Middle Managers Blame Upper Management

Upper management isn't perfect. They are humans just like their middle-management counterparts. Just because upper management doesn't seem do the job as well as they could doesn't mean that middle managers can just give up, throw up their hands and blame upper management for their own sub-par performance. Where is accountability? In spite of what your organization does, if you have personal values and ethics, you're supposed to plow through the difficulties and model to your staff what resilience looks like.

C'mon folks, sure it's never perfect no matter where you work. And if it's so painful being in middle management, then get out of it and go do something else. This blame game does nothing but hurt corporate culture.

Contrary to public opinion, upper management does not create the culture, the workers do. Culture is nothing more than a collection of attitudes. If everyone thinks the job sucks, the culture will suck. Add to that middle-managers who encourage blaming upper management - not by their words but by their actions - only makes the culture worse.

It's so easy to complain about how bad it is in middle management. And it is tiresome that people simply accept the attitude of blaming someone or something else for their own shortcomings. To blame is to choose to be a victim of your circumstances. You know for a fact that you're better than that. So be better. Take a stand. Set a standard. Ask for a heart-to-heart with a decision-maker but stop the blame. It's counter-productive and it is actually disengaging your employees.

Middle-managers are measured by their department's engagement and productivity. Productivity and engagement go up when blame goes down. You have no control over what upper management does so get over it and get on with the work you're here to do. 
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How To Be A "Great" Customer

My car is in the shop. The garage promised it would take just one full day. So, when the dealership garage called just after lunch asking to keep the car a second day, I asked why?

"One technician is off sick today so we're a little backed up," they offered.

So now their problem has become my problem. I'm sure that this is not the first time a technician has ever been sick. Does your business grind to a screeching halt because one person called in sick? Wouldn't you have a backup plan? Wouldn't you do your best to keep your promise to your customers without excuses?

I scheduled my appointments around my car being out of commission for one day, not two. That means that if I leave my car with them for another day, I have to reschedule all of my appointments. That means my business and several other businesses are affected by one guy calling in sick. Would you expect your customers to have to endure your internal staffing problems?

Why should it be the customer's job to solve the garage's problem? It's real easy for the garage if the customer is willing to lower their standard of service expectation and simply lay down and take whatever they give you. But that would make you a lousy customer. A "great" customer is not a pushover when it comes to service. A "pushover" customer does not inspire business to get better. It creates an environment where service actually gets worse. A "great" customer, on the other hand, is the customer that challenges business to get better at delivering service. So, here's how you become a "great" customer: you say no. You refuse to accept mediocrity and challenge it. You simply force them to be better.

"Great" customers (customers of greatness) don't let mediocrity reign supreme. Great customers set a standard and expect the people they deal with to rise to it. Great customers make businesses keep their promises and their word. And if those same businesses try to slide, great customers will make them pay. 

I suggested a rental car. They hummed and hawed and reluctantly agreed. Had they been the first to offer a rental car I would have been over the moon with a excitement and would have professed my undying gratitude for a "wow" service experience. But, sadly, that's not how it went. 

An Attitude of Service isn't just for business. Every customer should have one too. Become a "great" customer. Stop being a pushover. Don't lie down and just take whatever they hand you. Stand up and ask for what you want. The answer is always "no" to the questions you never ask and the standards you never set. When it starts costing businesses money because they don't keep their promises, then and only then will service start to improve.

It's easy to complain about how bad service is. But what are you doing to help improve it?

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Attitude Is A Specialty

People are always free to offer their opinions and most have opinions on things they didn't realize they had opinions on. People who don't work in the area of organizational effectiveness or corporate culture still may have their opinions on how organizations can better their collective attitudes but that doesn't mean we have to take their advice.

I have opinions on a lot of things that are clearly not within my realm of expertise: who should stay and who should go with the NHL's Calgary Flames, which models of car should GM discontinue or which brand of maxi-pads do the best job. Clearly, these are not my areas of expertise. But it doesn't mean I don't have an opinion. I just wouldn't offer it as gospel.

So, when I stumbled onto a question on the LinkedIn bulletin board this morning that was right up my alley, I had an expert opinion. The question being asked was, "does attitude drive behavior or does behavior drive attitude?"

I was the eleventh person to answer the question and, strangely enough, the only person who works in the area of Attitude. Several motivational speakers before me had offered their simple platitudes: attitude is everything, it pays to be positive, a team with a focused attitude can accomplish anything, yadda, yadda, yadda and other motivational drivel that we've heard for years. In virtually every answer though, people equated the word attitude with positive attitude. This is a big mistake and a poor assumption.

My caution to you is to make sure that if you are soliciting advice, that you are asking people in the know. If you needed a wedding catered, you wouldn't ask the hot dog vendor on the corner. Sure, he may have some experience with food but it may not be the experience you require. In the same way, if you're looking for counsel or advice in one particular area of either your life or your business, ask an expert. Get good advice one time so that you don't compound your problem by having to go back and fix it again based on the poor advice of a non-expert.

There is much corporate discussion on "specialists versus generalists." Personally, I don't think there's much room left for generalists anymore. You only have to look to the retail sector to see evidence. Those who were once the behemoth players are slowly having their market share chipped away by specialists -- niche marketers. Even Wal-Mart is a niche marketer -- their niche is price and nothing else.

The speaking industry is no different. There are specialists and generalists. Motivational speakers are the generalists (they say stuff that makes people feel good for a while but nothing really specific) and there are specialists who address problems and issues with surgical precision.

The challenge for generalists in this economy is their inability to address specific problems and challenges with any degree of authority. For example, if your organization was facing growth issues -- either upwards or downwards -- then I would recommend my friend Marty Park. If your organization was facing performance issues than I would recommend my friend, Ken Larson. In the same way, I would hope that if your organization wanted to tweak its corporate culture, which is the corporate attitude, I would hope that you would choose me. After all, Attitude affects culture and the way your organization handles change, communication, customer service, health and safety, leadership, work life balance, management, productivity, problem solving, sales, corporate social responsibility and virtually every department within the organization. Each one of these areas has an effect on bottom-line financials. Improve the attitude and you improve the financials. The proof is that organizations with strong attitudes outperform their competitors financially by four times.


The motivational speaking industry is hurting right now because, in an economy of counting pennies, organizations want something more than platitudes that pump their people up for a few hours. They want real-world solutions that leave an organization different. Experts do just that. Experts know that low motivation in their employees is a symptom of something within the culture. That's why motivational speeches rarely change an organization's culture - because the speech addresses only the symptom and not the root cause.

So, what was my answer to the question that started this discussion? Attitude drives behavior in every single circumstance. Every event in our lives presents a choice. We make our decisions and then we act. Then, the results of our actions go back to either add to or take away from our ingrained attitudes. But every time, it's Attitude first.

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The Attitude of Accountability

Being victimized and being hurt are one in the same. Whether hard-done-by on a large scale or small scale, hurt is a part of being victimized. Being hurt is to take it personally. To be disappointed though, not so much . Disappointment only occurs when you are focused on a particular outcome.

No one ever has power over another. Every person gives up their personal choice in every single instance of being overpowered. We have the power to say no. We have the power to say yes. If we feel that we don't have a choice then we are more afraid of the consequences (of disagreeing with another person) than we are of what happens by letting someone else choose for us. In this case, someone who lets others overpower them probably has low self-esteem or a poor self-image. They NEED to be liked and will give up their power in the hopes that others will like them. Either way, it's hell.

Accountability is to simply hold the belief that everything that happens to you, you had a part in creating (decisions, choices, participation). Anything else other than believing that you had a part in what happens to you is to be victimized. You create your future - good or bad. You create your reality - good or bad. You create your results - good or bad. If you believe anything other than that, you will blame someone or something else for your circumstances and results. When you blame, you are victimized.

Going after your goals is fine. But the attainment of the goal shouldn't shut out the people in your life. If it does, you're being selfish, not accountable. Being self-absorbed is not accountable. If you have a relationship with a spouse and you ignore that relationship and it goes south and you end up divorced because you were self-absorbed with your goals - you would need to be accountable for the break-up. You attracted it. You made it happen by ignoring your spouse. That was your doing.

If you're going for the gold without thought or consideration for others, you're not going to get gold. You're going to maybe get rich - BUT LONELY. If you make agreements to be a friend, be a spouse, be a parent, be a leader and you become me-me-me focused, then you're not being accountable to the agreements you made: to be a friend, a spouse, a parent and a leader. Honestly, if you're so self-absorbed on your goals, you have no balance and I can't imagine how much fun you would be to be around.

Accountability is the "ability to account" for your actions in getting your results.

Consequence of Consequence-Free

Consequences are the guideposts of your moral compass. If there were no consequences, people would run roughshod over each other. Items in your garage would be stolen by your neighbors. Police forces would become irrelevant. You would leave the doors unlocked. Business would hire Grade 6 dropouts into senior management positions. You get the idea. Anarchy.

So what happens when you take an individual who has been raised in a virtually consequence-free environment and place him into a corporate environment where there are rules, expectations, structure, failure, mistakes, unfulfilled promises and bosses who are unforgiving? Think this visual over.

That's exactly what many parents are doing to their kids - raising them in a consequence-free environment. They try to protect their kids from falling down, skinning a knee, falling out of a tree and experiencing bullies. Parents interfere with the educational process and tell teachers what grade their child should be getting. They strip a child's competitive nature by celebrating a participant ribbon instead of 1st place. They raise their children in houses that are beyond large and buy anything the child wants so they never have to go without. They lie to their children telling them they can be anything they want even though they're too short to end up in the NBA and too fat for supermodel work. But they're still special.

Those same kids grow up to enter the work world and find out in short order that they're not special – they’re average at best perhaps even below-average in social-skills and maturity. They learn they can't be anything they want to be. They come face-to-face with the office bully and don't know how to handle it. They disappoint their bosses. They fail. They miss their targets. They lose a job. They live in dinky apartments because it's what they can afford. They drive a beat-up crap car. They suck with money because they've never had to earn it or handle it before. They end up moving back home with mom and dad because they haven't learned anything about life in their whole lives.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Parents, if you want your children to grow up to be something special, stop doing it all for them. Make them work. Make them earn. Make them do charity work. Make them encounter and face-off with bullies. Let them hurt themselves so they learn where boundaries are. Let them earn respect. They are not entitled to it.

Forty percent of kids coming into the workforce today say they would lie, cheat and sabotage others to get ahead. This, mom and dad, is what you taught them. They learned this from having no consequences. You can be real proud. Zero morals, ethics and values. Good job Mom. Good job Dad.

Look, if you want your child to be tomorrow's leader then at least arm them with a few leadership skills, basic stuff they can use in the real world like accountability, responsibility and consequence. They'll be more prepared to make a difference and less inept at caring for you when you get too old to look after yourself.

A Punch Line – Not A Punch

Standing in line at the checkout recently, I overheard this conversation:

Customer: “Whoa, wait a sec. How much was that?”

Clerk: (puzzled) “A dollar?”

Customer: “OK but what about this?” (pointing to another checked item)

Clerk: “That was a dollar too.”

Customer: (holding up another item) “So how much is this then?”

Clerk: (heavy sigh) “A dollar.” (Short pause for courage I guess) “Ma’am, this is a dollar store. Everything here is a dollar.”

Now once upon a time, during an episode like this in which the customer holds up an entire line of people who are waiting to check their items, I would roll my eyes in my head and say loud enough for others to hear, “You have got to be kidding.”

But for the past thirteen years, I have come to the conclusion that sometimes, people are placed on my path simply for my amusement. Kind of like today. (Oh sure, I still have my “you have got to be kidding” moments but they are short-lived.)

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: You need to adopt a Resilience Attitude when the time is right. A Resilience Attitude will get you through the tough days with a smile, a chuckle and sometimes a deep-down belly-laugh. The Resilience Attitude will help you weather tough days, tough situations and tough economic times.

The Resilience Attitude has no place for whining, moaning, complaining or blaming. The resilience Attitude simply says, “OK, it happened. Now what?”

It is amazing how many people can fall off of a bicycle and get back up to ride it again. And yet, there are so many others who, when something devastating happen in their lives, they refuse to get back up. Instead they wallow in their circumstances, complain about how they have been hard-done by, share their “victim” story with anyone who will listen and continue to re-live it over and over again.

In fact, people who seek revenge, play guilt games, re-live their regrets and are remorseful for their lives are, in effect, choosing to stay down after falling down. The Resilience Attitude doesn’t allow those who possess it to stay down. People with Resilience Attitude refuse to stay down. The Resilience Attitude helps you bounce back.

Every decision you have ever made in your life has put you exactly where you are today. By being victimized by that, you are not accepting accountability. It means that you do not possess the Resilience Attitude. But if you can accept that where you are in your life today has been a result of every decision you have ever made, then you have the ability to bounce back and succeed despite the “temporary” circumstances. Everything is temporary – nothing is permanent – unless you decide it is permanent.

Now please don’t think that I’m going all “motivational speaker” on you. That’s not it. This is simply an Attitude Adjustment on ‘perspective versus results.’ If you think people want to be entertained by your victim story, then you’re choosing to stay down. People love to laugh. Make other people laugh with your stories. Don’t make them feel your pain. That’s not funny and it’s incredibly rude to force others to sit through your awful story. Make your story have a punch line – not a punch.

So today, when you’re in the line at the grocery store, the coffee shop, stuck in traffic or waiting for your meeting to show up, have a look around for the one thing that has been placed into your life at this moment simply to amuse you. You’ll have an amusing story to tell at the end of your day. It will change your outcome. You’ll have taken the first step into achieving a Resilience Attitude.

So what’s the punch line to your story today?

The Fine-Print Attitude Adjustment

So what do you think would happen if you stood up in a public forum and announced, “Our Company is in trouble and we now need a big injection of cash to keep our company going. If we don’t get the cash injection, we will be forced to lay off a lot of our workers, we will have to consider closing some of our plant locations and our future as a viable company will become tenuous at best.”

Do you think that a public declaration like that would inspire customers to continue doing business with you?

Well that’s exactly what the big automakers did in late 2008. And guess what? The report came out today saying auto sales dropped substantially in December. Now who would have ever thought that people would stop buying cars when the car makers say that they’re in trouble?

Has your organization stopped spending because of the media-induced, economic-crisis hysteria? Many companies say that they have stopped spending but not for things they need. If your computer crashed today you would be buying a new one tomorrow because a computer is necessary to get the work done. So companies are still buying. They’re just ensuring that they get value for their money.

Many companies have ceased their training and management meetings and conferences – yet continue to pay the Meeting Planner on-staff who is planning no meetings. That seems like a senseless waste of a good salary. Ceasing training at this time is just about the most ridiculous idea an organization could follow.

It’s right now that your people need reassurances that your company or organization is solid. It’s right now that your workplace needs a shot of courage and conviction. Many of your competitors have rolled up their sails and are waiting out the “storm.” But there is no storm. It’s a media-induced frenzy. And if you’re buying it, you’re hurting your own bottom-line.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: So what message are you sending your customers? What message are you sending your people? You see, whatever you say to your people is going to be the same thing your people say to your customers.

Let me repeat that one: whatever you say to your people is going to be the same thing your people say to your customers.

So stop catastrophizing (or making up words).

So how bad is it really out there? Well, outside of car sales, retail sales fell 1.8 per cent in December. 1.8 per cent. Are you kidding me? The mass hysteria is about a 1.8 per cent drop in retail sales in December – which is compared to December 2007. That was the month, if you recall, that retailers were surprised by how much we were spending. We overshot expectations in December 2007 and evened it out in December 2008.

Do not let your organization suffer from the media-induced, ratings-grabbing, hysterical headlines. Read the fine print. Get the information for yourself. Pay attention. Don’t panic and for goodness sake, don’t panic in front of your people or your customers.

Now is the time to give your people a shot in the arm – not a kick in the teeth. Now is the time to arm them with confidence – not uncertainty. Now is the time to give them an attitude adjustment on what’s really happening in the marketplace – not rumours and supposition. Now is the time to rise above the cowering competitors and take a bigger market share.

Now is the time for leadership. Leadership is an Attitude.

Be Smarter Than The Smart Phone

My friend Brian is a brilliant mind. Every time that I get to visit with him (not as often as I would like), I come away with a few new ideas, a few new opinions and a few new article subjects. I know that Brian is reading this right now so thank you Brian for the contribution to make to my life and the lives of others.

Last week when I was sitting in Brian’s office, he had said something that sparked a great idea (or so I thought at the time). I could take this idea and I would find myself being more efficient and successful. Just as I was beginning to process the thought, my Blackberry went off – an incoming email as well as an appointment reminder. Although I didn’t look at the Blackberry, it chimed away three times for each of the notices.

Although I didn’t look at the smart phone, there was a little piece in the back of my mind that was just curious as to what reminder I was being given. It distracted me. My normal practice for meeting with people is to shut the Blackberry off completely – but this time I forgot. Not only did I forget to turn off the phone, I forgot the great idea that was sparked in my mind from my conversation with Brian.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: There’s a reason that the MC of the conference you attended recently reminds you to shut off your cell phone while you’re in session. It’s so you don’t forget the great ideas that come to you when people who have something brilliant to say speak to you. I learned my lesson.

So how about you take the learning from me on this one and shut the phone off completely when you’re having a meeting with someone or just want to give someone your undivided attention so you don’t miss something important – like I did. Be smarter than your smartphone.

Hope I Didn't Complain Too Much

I spent a little time with Bill recently. He’s in his eighties now and lives alone. He spends most of his days in front of the TV as he needs a walker to get around. He has a boarder who lives downstairs and she is supposed to fix his meals and keep him company in exchange for a substantial reduction on her rent. Meals are mostly frozen prepared dinners from the grocery store. She never spends more than five minutes at a time with Bill and he complains about it. And I understand that. For a man in his eighties, he’s being taken advantage of.

Our conversation lasted about an hour. We covered a lot of things including some regrets he has in his life, his loneliness, his estranged family and his quality of life. There’s no one to talk to. His meals come out of a microwave. He can’t drive anymore. He’s bound to his house. It’s kind of tough to be upbeat about life when those are the results you have near the end of it.

As I was walking down the front walk after our visit, he simply yelled out, “Hope I didn’t complain too much.”

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Perhaps Bill’s last words to me that day should be the last words you leave people with. Instead of saying, “goodbye” or “so long” perhaps you should close with, “hope I didn’t complain too much.”

What different conversations you’d end up having with others if you knew you were going to end the conversation with, “hope I didn’t complain too much.”

In fact, I think ending a conversation with “hope I didn’t complain too much” would actually cement the conversation you had with someone else. Both of the talk partners would be forced to reflect on the conversation to see if one or the other did complain too much.

But it will never fly. People just don’t want to be accountable for their conversations. People just want to complain. They want to whine and moan about how tough their lives are and use it as an excuse for not doing better. They don’t want to get out of their ruts and routines and enjoy something better. They don’t want to improve their circumstances or their lives because, well, it’s hard work and they already work hard enough. No. You’ll never hear those words at the end of a conversation because no one really would mean it.

So I guess life will just go on the same way, getting the same results and complaining about the same things. It’s easier to be lazy and complain than it is to fix a sorry life. So feel free to make your choice. It probably won’t be any different anyway.

Hope I didn’t complain too much.

Is Stress Really The Problem?

The Global Business and Economic Roundtable on Addiction and Mental Health conducted a survey to determine the Top Ten Stressors at work. Here they are:

• 10. "The treadmill syndrome" - Employees who consistently have too much or too little to do create a lot of stress.
• 9. "Random interruptions" - Keeps employees from getting their work done - telephones, walk-in visits, supervisor's demands.
• 8. "Pervasive uncertainty" - Created by constant, unsatisfactorily explained or unannounced change.
• 7. "Mistrust, unfairness, and office politics" - Keeps everyone on edge and uncertain about the future.
• 6. "Unclear policies and no sense of direction" - Causes additional uncertainty and undermines confidence in management.
• 5. "Career and job ambiguity" - Creates a feeling of helplessness and of being out of control.
• 4. "No feedback - good or bad" - People want to know how they are doing, and whether they are meeting expectations.
• 3. "No appreciation" - Generates stress that endangers future efforts.
• 2. "Lack of communication" - Leads to decreased performance and increased stress.
• 1. The greatest stressor in the workplace is "lack of control" - Employees are highly stressed when they feel like they have no control over their participation or the outcome of their work.

In reading this list, I was struck by a single thought: there really is only ONE stressor at work – lack of control. The lack of control is really the one constant in every one of the other nine stressors. Lack of control in workload, interruptions, change, mistrust, direction, job security, feedback, appreciation and communication are what are causing the stress.

Now it’s been said that stress is a killer. I don’t buy that. Instead I believe that our inability to handle stress is the killer. It’s not the stress. It’s our in ability to handle it.

It’s not the job. It’s our inability to handle all of the issues that come up in the job.

As I wrote in a recent Blog entry, there’s a difference in the outcome of the work you do when you take on the attitude that your job is your career, even if it’s only your career for now. It no longer becomes just a job. A career is something you manage. A job is just something you grumble about having to do.

Change your attitude on your work and your work will begin to improve. Don’t argue with me on this one. I am right (been there done that). The moment you change your attitude on your “job” being more than just a job and instead being a career, you will begin to see the “job” in a whole new light. And believe me, there is a whole lot less stress when you start taking control of where you work, how you work, the quality of your work and the contribution you make to your work.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Are you feeling out of control on the job? It’s likely because you’re letting every one else decide your career for you. Stop it. Take back the control.

You may need A job but not necessarily this one. Are you working because of the pension you’ll receive at retirement? Then you’ve already checked out mentally and are counting the days until you retire. That’s no way to manage a career. That’s a prison sentence.

I’ve said it before and I perhaps need to say it again: the more valuable you become on the job, the less likely you are to be replaced. Increase your value. Get better at communicating, thinking, sharing ideas, focusing and embracing change (it is a good thing most times). Read the Leadership books. Listen to the CD’s. Go to the seminars. Get better. Get stronger. Get more valuable. And if you choose to NOT do the work to improve yourself and your value, well then sorry. There is no one then who can possibly guarantee that something drastic won’t happen to you. That should stress you a little.

You Are Here

It was 1942 when Bing Crosby first sang the immortal White Christmas in the movie Holiday Inn. As a Canadian, there haven’t been a lot of Christmases that I can remember that weren’t white. But the trick in Canada, because the country is so large with weather that is so diverse, is having a coast-to-coast-to-coast (Pacific to Atlantic to Arctic) white Christmas which hasn’t happened in Canada since 1971. This year it will happen.

The weather across the country has been, well, wintry this year. The East Coast is getting hammered with snow this week. The central provinces have had their snow and Canada’s busiest airport, Toronto’s Pearson International, is still trying to catch up with the hundreds of delayed and canceled flights over the weekend due to heavy snow. Those flight delays and cancellations have rippled across North America creating a backlog across the continent. In the meantime, the Prairie Provinces have been hammered by snow and brutally cold temperatures. Then there’s the usually seemingly tropical West Coast - which usually has more rain during the winter - which has been pounded by snow this year (a foot of snow or 30cm which is huge in areas where hardware stores don’t normally stock snow shovels) this weekend alone. It’s white right across the country and we’re just a few days from Christmas.

In fact, this morning, as I was starting my car to warm it up because the temperature this morning was at -28°C (24° below zero F), my neighbor from across the road asked if I would give him a jump. Now if you’ve never heard that term (it is so Canadian), it means to help him start his car by connecting “jumper” cables from my car battery to his. Sometimes cars don’t start when it’s cold like this. I was pleased to oblige.

I recall my Uncle in Northern Ireland once asking me while I was on a visit there, “So what kind of temperatures do you have in Canada?”

I replied that depending on the area of the country, you could see swings of +40°C to -40°C (112°F to 40° below zero F).

Incredulously he asked, “Well why do you live there?”

Funny, but I never really thought about it before. I just live here. It’s the way it is and it is definitely winter (first day of winter was yesterday) in Canada. Canada is where I have chosen to live and the weather is the weather and there’s not much we can do about except embrace it and deal with it.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: As you walk through the shopping malls at this time of year looking for a particular store, you may find yourself in front of the big mall directory sign by the entrance. The most important thing on that big sign is the little red arrow that simply reads, “You Are Here!”

Nothing else on that sign makes any sense without the “You Are Here” arrow. And that’s the way it is in life. Without knowing where you are, you will never find a way to where you say you want to go. So as you take stock of the year you have just completed and begin to set your sights onto where you want to be in 2009, tell yourself the truth. Where you are is not the fault of the economy, the government, your boss, your spouse, your education, your circumstances or anything else outside of you. You are where you are by your own doing – no exceptions.

The economic downturn happened. Were you ready for it? Did you make the decisions this year that prepared you or hindered you? You always have a choice – always. You may not like the choices before you but there’s always a choice. (This part will require a serious attitude adjustment for some. If you’re resisting this idea, then life is NEVER going to get any better for you – ever.)

My friend and mentor, Ken Larson, says something that makes such perfect sense, “If you aren’t living your life by design then you are living your life by default. If you aren’t actively choosing to design your own life then you are living by default, and allowing anyone else’s design to be your life.”

Over this Holiday season, do something that helps you take better control of your own life for 2009.